that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
