he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
