she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
