The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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