I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
