Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hippo gnu deer
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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