just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He? As in you personified your dick?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
