Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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