Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
