maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize