I'm drive I can fine osifer
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
