i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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