Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
