apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
