Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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