I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
