why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
