Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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