You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
