Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
