Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Randomize
