If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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