i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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