Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
