Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
