you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
