you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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