you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
