just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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