oh god the rape fog is back!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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