I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
