New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
