Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
