I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
