so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
porn star boner night. come get it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
