She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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