Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
