You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
