Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
