he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
