i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize