mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
