I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Randomize
