dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
