Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
