I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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