I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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