i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
