fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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