Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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