Duck Duck Cougar?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i used baking grease as lip gloss
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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