Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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