if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
