Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
