it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
