They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize