Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize