We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
