I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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