it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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