I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize