i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
